Shock Therapy
by SinisterSweet07
Summary: Three obsessed girls get sent to a therapist about their Twilight obsessions. Imagine all the things that could happen. LMFAO. JxT aka Jane x Twilight
1. Chapter 1

Jane,Maddy,and Steph sat down in the three cushioned chairs that they were told to sit down in. A blonde woman about six feet tall smiled at them with her bright red lips. She sat down in her chair in front of them all and put on her reading glasses. Jane rolled her eyes and Steph began writing all over her jeans like she usually did when she was bored. Maddy just blinked a few times staring at the woman. She picked up a clipboard off of the floor and scribbled some things down.

" Hello there! Good afternoon,ladies. My name is Dr. Johnson. What are your names?" She said cheerfully.

" My names Jane." Jane said. She pointed to Steph. " Thats Stephyness."

" Whats your name young lady?" Dr. Johnson asked Maddy.

" I like to eat bugs."

" Her name is Maddy." Jane said.

" Oh,hello! You girls can call me Marissa. I understand that your parents sent you here so I can help you. I'm your friend. I'm not here to scare you." She smiled.

" Your scaring me right now." Maddy muttered under her breath.

She scribbled some more things down in her notebook as Maddy and Jane looked around the room looking for a way out. Steph growled and slumped down in her chair trying to kill the psychiatrist with her mind. She saw someone do it on tv before. It didn't work. Marissa beamed at them with her perky little ways then placed the clipboard down on her lap. She lowered her glasses onto the tip of her nose like a librarian and studied Jane.

" Your mother said,and it says here on your documents,that your name is Abigail." She smiled and tilted her head to the side.

" Well,first off. Stop smiling. Its creeping me out." Jane sighed. " Second,my legal name is Abby. But I changed it to Jane a while ago. Everyone calls me Jane except my mother. I mean,what kind of a name is Abby?"

" My mothers name is Abigail. And she's dead." Marissa said,still smiling,but annoyance in her voice.

" I'm glad." Steph grumbled.

" Anyways,lets move on." Marissa said. " I understand you are here because of this obsession you have with this book Twilight."

" Its not an obsession. Its a way of life." Maddy corrected.

" Its not a book. Its a bible." Jane growled.

" How about we play a little game? Just an exercise." Marissa smiled and put her hands on her lap.

" What kind of game?" Maddy asked.

" Ooh! Ooh! Lets play Twilight the board game!" Steph smiled. She reached into her messenger bag and pulled out a rectangular box with a piece of paper taped onto it that said " Twilight the game!!".

" Yeah!" Jane and Maddy cheered.

" I call the Bella piece!"

" I wanna be Rosalie!"

" Fine,but I roll first." Steph crossed her arms.

" Ladies,how about we play a different game? I call this game Colors. I'm going to show you a card with a picture on it. You are going to tell me what you see." Marissa smiled.

They all slouched back in their seats with boredom. Jane sighed. Steph wrote the words " Must kill Marissa" on her pants with her little mini sharpie that she had in her pocket. Marissa grabbed a small box from off of her desk and took out a stack of cards. She shuffled them around in her hands then pulled up the first one. It looked like splatters and blobs of blue paint.

" What do you see?"

" Edward Cullen." Jane grinned.

" Okay,maybe this isn't going to help. How about we try a different game? I'm going to say a word. You are going to tell me the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?"

" Okay."

" Chicken."

" Edward Cullen!" Steph shouted.

" How do you get Edward Cullen out of this?" Marissa asked,slightly annoyed.

" Its obvious. Can't you see? Chickens are like birds. Birds can fly. Elephants have flies on them. Elephants are big. So are grizzly bears. Emmett likes grizzly blood. Emmett is Edward Cullen's brother. See?"

Marissa burried her face in her hands and groaned.

" This isn't working. Maybe we need to put you three in group therapy. With people who share the same problem. When their love for Edward Cullen is dangerously high and they are at the point they need to see a flippin shrink! I hate Edward Cullen! Whats so special about him!"

Their mouths dropped open in horror.

**Ten minutes later**

Marissa was tied to a long wooden stick over a open fire being roasted and ready to be sacrified to the demons of Jane's closet. They turned the stick making her spin around upside down.

" Get me down from here!"

" How dare you speak bad of Edward!"

**LMAO. I am Jane. My friends are Stephanie and Maddy. This will be continued when I'm done with My heart will Go on story.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**_My heart will Go on_ isn't over yet. But I just feel like updating this. Oh,and in this story,my friend Amanda is in this. Yay! New charactars!  
**

Jane walked into the Group Therapy room angrily,to see a circle of chairs with other girls sitting in them. They all looked at her. There was a man with a beard and glasses and a nerdy shirt with a clipboard sitting in the middle of all of them. She sat down in a chair that had her name on it and crossed her arms. There was two empty seats beside her.

" Hello,young lady! Are you Stephanie?" He asked.

" No,I'm Jane." Jane growled.

" Where are the other two girls?"

" Court." Jane laughed. " We gave Marissa third degree burns but my dad gave her three grand to not sue me for it and just the other two. Its fine with me."

" Why did you give her third degree burns?"

" She said Edward Cullen wasn't special."

Everyone gasped. Except the shrink.

" Well,my name is Dr. John. I am here to help you. I am your -"

" Friend. You don't want to scare us. Yeah,yeah,yeah." Jane and another girl with curly brown hair said at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed.

" I'm Amanda." She said.

" I'm Jane."

" I love Twilight!" Amanda gushed.

" Ohmygod! Me TOO!"

" IloveitwhenEdwardandbellabreakupbecaueethenigototheendandreadwhentheygetbacktogetherhahahahailoveuitloveitloveitromanceandeverything sinkmyeffinwholebodyintoitthatbookismylife!"

" Ohmygodilovetotdothattoitsmylifetostepheniemeyerisgodandtwilightisthebibleandsheisadrugdealerandimtheaddicttwilightsthedugedwardstheaddictionhahahahaha!"

" Lets all admit our problems here." Dr. John said. " Everyone start off with 'Hello,my name is -' and ' i am suffering from - " . Lets start with Jane."

" Hello,my name Is Jane Abby Marie Joseph - Cullen and I am suffering from nothing at all and I shouldn't be here."

Everyone snickered.

Dr. John wrote ' in denial of condition' on his clipboard.

" I think all you girls need to get over this ' Edward Cullen'." He scoffed at the name.

" Shut the fuck up!" Everyone screamed at him all at once.

" I think he's jealous. That hes not cool like Edward." Jane said.

The shrink turned to Jane and glared at her. He stood up,and walked over to her chair.

" Respect your elders!"

" Edward Cullen is an elder! He's older than you!"

He pointed his finger in her face.

" Little girl! Don't be stupid!"

" DONT POINT YOUR FINGER AT FLIPPIN OBSESSIVE PEOPLE!!" Amanda screamed.

" Chea." Jane gave Amanda a high five.

" This isn't working. I think you all need to move onto Shock Therapy." Dr. John growled. " Edward Cullen is stupid."

All gasp.

**Five minutes later**

" Ah!" Dr. John screamed as he was thrown out of the five story window.

**To be continued...**

**Dun dun dun..****  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Jane and the rest of her Group Therapy friends who all had a 'dangerously high obsession' for Twilight sat in the tall metal chairs all in a circle with chains tied around their feets and cuffs around their wrists holding them down. Electric chairs. She groaned and slammed her head down against her lap because there was no desk to bang it on like when she was in school. The new not-dead shrink's name was Mr. Rogers. Teehee.

" Hello there,children. Isn't it such a wonderful day in the neighborhood?"

Blink. Twitch. Stare.

" Sure.." Jane said slowly.

" Today,we are going to have shock therapy. Those of you who survive will come back to the meeting next week." He said politely.

He sat down on a chair and placed a stack of papers in front of him. The armchair he was sitting on had a remote built into the sides with buttons that had numbers on them. Each number stood for a chair. They gulped and slouched back,knowing how hard it would be to -gulp- not think or talk about Twilight. Jane groaned. She wished she could cross her arms angrily but the chains prevented her. The girl beside her rubbed her face up and down on her shoulder making her seem like a spaz. She was scratching her nose. And let me tell you people: That is not easy!

" We will start off with a simple discussion. First off,how are you all feeling today?"

" Good."

" Happy."

" Pissed off."

" Twilight."

Zap!

" AHHH!!!!"

The girl's hair stood on ends and her skin turned a toasty black color. Hmm. The chains unlocked and she fell to the floor in the same position she was in before. The door opened up and two medics rushed into the room,threw her on a stretcher,then left. Jane blinked. Okay...

" How are your feelings about Twilight? What is so important about it?"

Nobody spoke. They just stared in horror.

" Its okay. I'm allowing you to speak of the unspeakable word for just this one time. So go ahead. Chat about twilight."

" I love twilight!" Jane screamed. " How can you say its not important and 'unspeakable?' "

ZAP!

" AHHHHHH!!!" Jane screamed

Her hair stood on its ends and she shook rapidly,her skin turning black.

" What the fuck! What in the name of Edward Cul - AHHH!!!!" She was zapped again.

She narrowed her eyes.

" You said we - "

Zap.

Zap.

Zap.

" AHHHHH!" Jane screeched. " I didn't even say anything about twi - I MEAN! The unspeakable thing! I didn't fucking talk! I said ' you said we - ' and I get ELECTRICUTED?"

" Sorry." Mr. Rogers said with a guilty grin. " Its fun to press the button. Anyone else care to share their thoughts?"

They shook their heads,their eyes wide with fear and they had a tight grip on the arm rests.

" Okay. Its about time you get over Twilight. Its stupid. Its dumb. And its stealing the lives of teens. Edward Cullen." He scoffed.

All gasps.

Dead silence.

" Oh no he did not." Jane said.

**Five minutes later**

The fangirls escaped from their chains,grabbed Mr. Rogers,and threw him in one of the electric chairs and they cackled evily as they pushed the zappy button over and over again.

ZAP!

ZAP!

ZAP!

" I'm - AHHH! Sorry! Please st- AHH! Stop z- AAAH ping me!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight,ebay,or spongebob.**

The nine fangirls who weren't in prison for murder and who weren't completely burnt to a crisp sat in the circle of chairs in the orginal room waiting for their next shrink to show up. Jane wondered how she should murder them this time. She bit her nails nervously,trying to decide if she should take out their spine and beat them with it,rip out their teeth and put them on necklaces,or twist their heads off and sell them on ebay.

The door knob twisted and the door opened slowly. The girls zipped open their purses covered with their 'proud Twilight lover' pins and grabbed a bunch of tomatoes and other vegtables they hid in there since their dinner and got ready.

" Steady...aim..." Jane instructed from under her chair as she held a tomato behind her head.

The door opened.

" HOLD YOUR FIRE!" Jane screamed.

They dropped their food and their mouths.

A huge,tall,muscley,pale,and handsome not-so-stranger walked into the room.

" Hummina hummina hummina hummina hummina hummina hummina hummina hummina..." Jane said blankly as she stared and pointed at the person in front of her.

" Hummina hummina hummina hummina hummina hummina.." The rest of them chanted with her.

" I don't get it. Who is it?" One girl asked.

Jane chucked a rock at her head.

" Its..its.."

" EMMETT CULLEN!"

Jane screamed and lunged forward clinging to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist and squeezed. All of the other girls charged at him and hugged him too,trying to get a piece of his hot body.

" He's mine!"

" No! He's mine!"

" I saw him first!"

" Hey sexy!"

Someone else entered the room.

" You guys can have Emmett." Jane said grinning. She pointed to the person who came in. " HE is mine!"

Jane charged at Edward Cullen as hard as she could screaming at the top of her lungs. She gushed a bunch of nonsense not realizing it as she jumped up and down and squeeled and pushed all the other girls out of the way.

" Hi.." Edward said and narrowed his eyes curiously.

Two security guards bunch of security guards along with a Dr. Jones tied up in rope.

" There!" Dr. Jones pointed to Emmett and Edward. " Those are the ones who tied me up and locked me in the closet!"

" Posse out!" Emmett yelled as he and Edward dived out the window.

The fangirls frowned.

" YOU GIRLS! ARE! IN! SO! MUCH! TROUBLE!" Dr. Jones screamed. " NO MORE FUNNY BUSINESS! COUNCILING IS OUT OF THE QUESTION! WE ARE THROWING YOU GIRLS INTO MENTAL HOSPITALS!"

Jane tried diving out the window but one of the security guards grabbed her by the shirt and pulled her back in.

" EEEDDDWAAAARD!" Jane cried.

The end.

**Or is it? Read the sequel thats coming next. About the mental hospital and how things go XD**


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